


At Least The Little Mermaid Could Change

by Siren_Vitya



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, BPD, Depression, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Trans Male Character, Viktor spelled with a k, possible suicide attempt idk yet, trans Viktor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-10
Updated: 2018-07-09
Packaged: 2019-06-08 03:05:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15233961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Siren_Vitya/pseuds/Siren_Vitya
Summary: Viktor Nikiforov has been surprising people ever since the start of his career. The first one just cause more waves than he would have wanted, and they keep on following him.Or, Viktor is trans and just trying to live his best life.





	At Least The Little Mermaid Could Change

**Author's Note:**

> Myshka- little mouse
> 
> Male pronouns are used during the whole first chapter, using female pronouns just felt wrong.

Anya Nikiforov always knew something was wrong. He could never say anything, that's is if she wanted everything to be relatively comfortable. You just don't break the status quo.

'Girls are supposed to to have long hair and look nice. They're supposed to like fairytales and be soft. But why does it feel wrong if all those things describe me?' He would often think behind closed doors. Hiding under the plush covers was all he could do at that point, and hope that the next day wouldn't be as hellish as it was right then. Yakov would know instantly if something was off, and he wasn't exactly known for being comforting.  
\---

Practice was always difficult after those nights, but today was the worst he had experienced. Tying his long silver hair into a tight bun, the teen took a closer look at his face. A gentle bone structure laid underneath even more delicate features. Lila had often joked he could quit skating and become whatever pop icon he wanted to and be even more successful with his looks. He became fed up quickly, as slender fingers pulled loose hairs out in front of his face. Nails painted with blue and purple glitter seemed to dwell on one strand before taking more hair out of the tie. That way he wouldn't have to see as much of his overly feminine face.

"Anya, where are you? We've already started!" Yakov yelled from the rink. He could tell his coach was starting to get irritated with waiting. Anya swore the only reason Yakov put up with him was because of his talent. Everyone could easily tell that he was going to be one of the legends.

"Sorry, coming!" He yelled back. Forcing tears away, he grabbed his skates and jogged to the benches where his gruff coach was waiting. But today was his worst practice yet. Anya kept stumbling and falling on jumps that he knew better than anyone else at the rink. Yakov stopped and called him over after he had trouble staying balanced after a simple spin, frustration only getting worse.

"What's gotten into you today, you can barley stand without looking like you're going to hurt yourself!" His coach demanded. He probably didn't realize just how much his words impacted Viktor though with how loud he was being. Then again, everything was too loud right now.

'Shit...' she thought, his eyes betraying him. 'Maybe if I made up and excuse that I'm sick, then I can go home...'. But by now the tears were falling quicker than he would have liked. "I-I'm sorry, there's just a lot right now..." he mumbled quickly through panicked breaths. One last look from his coach was enough to make him run off to get his stuff. He was in no place to hear what the retired skater had to say next.

It seemed colder now, but that didn't matter. The faster he could get home into a baggy sweater, the better. Snow was starting to come down more heavily now and cover the teens eyelashes and mix with hot tears. Luckily home wasn't too far from the rink.

As soon as he got home, he dropped his red duffle bag by the front door and immediately ran to his room. The distinct sound of skates hitting the linoleum was more than enough for his mother to notice, "Myshka, you're home early. Did something happen?" 

"No, mama, it's noting!" He shouted from the top of the stairs. A thick scarf and beanie shrouded his features, and if any redness from crying was mentioned he would just blame the walk home in the snow. He immediately went for a stash of magazines his father had gotten him from overseas business trips. The articles of foreign fashion, short stories and poems in languages he didn't understand, piles of photos of art and nature circled for future costume inspiration were already blurring together. 

But one article in particular stood out among all the others. He had seen it before, but never really paid much attention. It was in some American gossip magazine. Luckily Anya knew English well enough to understand for the most part. The article was about an American actor who had recently caused controversy by coming out as transgender. There was a brief, albeit biased, description of how the actor described his experience and feelings. But that's when it all clicked for the teen and he could finally put a word to everything.

He decided right then that Anya Nikiforov was dead. He didn't know who would come to life after, or even how he would handle the backlash from everybody. But whoever it was would be much more victorious than he had ever been.

**Author's Note:**

> Im very gay and very trans and need a place to get it all out, so why not with fics? This is my first real writing in years so if it's a bit rusty right now, it'll get better!


End file.
